Pure Beatdown - pyr bt doun
n.
Huge, fast creatures that are too big to kill and just run over the opposition.

Nothing like a decent ass-kicking to get your Magic motor running. And there's nothing like a Pure Beatdown deck to get a decent ass-kicking! These decks differ from "regular" aggro (regular aggro laughs at Pure Beatdown because it's different...) in their dedication to speed and size, and... well... I suppose most regular aggro likes those things too. Really, it's just a semantic difference but it's a semantic difference that makes you feel like driving a racecar or something. The Pure Beatdown deck we'll be discussing today is Zoo. This Extended animal (hee hee) tends to have an edge over other, "regular" aggro decks game 1, but is highly dependent on its sideboard to win games 2 and 3 when anti-creature cards come in. This leads to clogged sideboards that can’t devote many cards to specific matchups.

Today I'll be going over some of the many, many, many (many many many) variations on the basic Zoo theme you can bring to your local Extended tourney. If there's any tech to be had, I have it. Your head will be spinning with possibilities by the end; whether that's from inspiration or tedium we've yet to see but let's get started!



What are the basic tenets to keep in mind no matter what tech you like? Two things you want to do:

• Burn and beat down - clear a path for your creatures early on, then finish your opponent with burn spells. The fact that burn is good against everything should not be underestimated, and is the reason that Boros Deck Wins doesn’t need to splash.
• Disrupt and beat down - Restrain your opponents’ resources while your creatures beat down.

So, saying that, how many colors should I play?
2: Nothing wrong at all with this, but 3 is not a hard jump if there’s even one card you want in another color (i.e. Bob Maher). Most people don’t consider 2-color aggro decks Zoo.
3: This is the standard number. You get a pretty consistent manabase, and each color is well represented (12+ cards). However, you're a little vulnerable to Blood Moon, and can’t afford to play colorless lands (like Blinkmoth Well).
4: Really shaky. A good amount of pain, and sometimes the fourth color (4 is generally 3 main and 1 splash) will not show up.
5: Hahahahhahahha. I suppose if you orgasm over Tribal Flames or Gaia's Might this might be worthwhile.

Most good Zoo decks at the moment have a base of Green and White, thanks to the terrific weenies in White (FINALLY) and the pump and fat of Green. Let's look at some of the possibilities in those colors so we can go for that Pure Beatdown flavor we're looking for.

White
Pretty damn good/Decent:
Savannah Lions and Isamaru, Hound of Konda are the obvious one-drops, with Isamaru having an edge due to his "I am not a TOTAL weakling" status.
White has no shortage of decent [card=White Knight]two-[card]drops, as we're all well-aware. Of course, in Zoo they're competing against Watchwolf for playability.
Paladin en-Vec - Almost unkillable outside of combat, making up for the "power < cost" madness.
Descendant of Kiyomaro - He really only works in BW decks, who can keep your hand big with Maher and your opponent's low with Gerrard’s Verdict and Cabal Therapy. In such decks, he ruins aggro as he's basically an Exalted Angel for 1WW. But is it better against aggro than the Paladin?
Mystic Crusader - See Paladin. Mystic isn't as good in combat, but his ability to fly allows him to block Tog and Fledgling Dragon and do evasive damage.

Not as good as you think:
Samurai of the Pale Curtain - His ability isn't significant except against Raffinity. Unless you have little confidence in your Raffinity matchup, just Kataki should be good enough.
Whipcorder - Tapping is good, but not as good as you'd think. Whipcorder just stops a creature until he gets burned away, which seems pretty bad compared to Grim or Legionnaire or even a removal spell. Raffinity can easily get around tapping, and Tog has no problem offing a 2/2.
True Believer - A very temporary solution to some of your problems. CAL can just burn it away, Desire/NO Stick can just Wish for bounce, and discard probably doesn't affect you anyways.
Leonin Skyknight - This will probably die before it can be equipped. Easy-to-kill creatures with no sacrifice abilities are generally a liability.

Sideboard material::
Kataki, War's Wage - Kataki is pretty worthless except against Raffinity; a 2/1 for 2 mana is just too easy to kill. That said, it should be in the sideboard of any Zoo deck playing White, or in the maindeck if the deck is low on threat density (a bigger problem than you‘d think).

Green
Wild Mongrel - NOT strictly worse than Watchwolf. However, with all the viable 2-drops out there you probably don‘t want four.
Phantom Centaur - Very, very hard to kill. It also puts Tog on a clock.
Genesis - If you're really looking towards the lategame. I really don't suggest this.
Call Of The Herd - Just a bit slow; that extra turn can be very important if you want to go turn 2 creature turn 3 Aura.
Vinelasher Kudzu - It really wants to be played turn 2, because if it's not and not followed by a fetch land its horrible. It's horrible way too often to be good.
Troll Ascetic - He's kinda mana-intensive and slow for Zoo decks. There are more important things for you to spend your mana on than regeneration. However, if your mana base works for him, he's golden.

/ Green/White /
Watchwolf - Hmmmm I wonder if I should play this in a G/W aggro deck?
Anurid Brushopper - 4 Toughness is even better than 3. And you can still pitch some land to save him.
Loxodon Heirarch - A nice way to dash your opponent's hopes of killing you. His mass regeneration ability is often forgotten, which can be very powerful.
Mystic Enforcer - Threshold and Grim don't like each other. So, sometimes you have to choose the flying pro-Black Wurm or the 1-mana Cursed Scroll.
Armadillo Cloak - of all the Creature Ench... I mean Auras ever printed, this is the most underplayed, mainly due to its unfortunate color pairing. Oh, wait, what's that you say? We're playing Green/White? Well then it must be time to pull out those Cloaks!


Neither Green nor White have much to write home about outside the whole "Creature" business except for the sideboard, where Disenchant/Naturalize, Suppression Field, and various colorhosers come into play. That is, of course, why we explore the options for a third color. That is, of course, what makes it Zoo, right?

Blue, while it has a fun time in Fish, really isn't cut out for Zoo. Ninja of the Deep Hours, Trinket Mage, and Standstill are all good-looking ideas, but the color offers little in the way of removal (which is absolutely necessary in a deck like this which has few other ways of evading blockers). The tricks of the color don't make it worthwhile. Well.... Meddling Mage might, but there are still better options.

So that leaves us with Black and Red. Green/White/Red is the traditional Zoo setup, but Green/White/Black is worth investigating as well. Each color contributes some very powerful cards:

Red
Grim Lavamancer - pfffff who plays Grim Lavamancer when you can play something awesome like Dwarven Scorcher for the same cost? Oh, that's right, smart people.
Kird Ape - three toughness is a LOT better than two. It's safe to say that a Red version of Zoo is going to have no shortage of one-drops.
Goblin Legionnaire - Not many two-drops can take out a 4/4. Embrace that.
Red of course also has a respectable cabinet of pure burrrrrn. Char, Magma Jet, Firebolt, and especially Lightning Helix are all excellent. Tribal Flames isn't bad either. Some people add a Watery Grave so that the card will go to four damage. Without that fourth landtype, of course, don't bother with this; Volcanic Hammer would be better.

Not as good as you think:
Flametongue Kavu - A creature that will almost always go 2-for-1 against aggro. Unfortunately, he's fairly useless against combo and control decks.
Frostling - Can trade with small creatures, but that's about it. You usually won't 2-for-1 with frostling, and he's not dangerous unless you can equip him. In 2-color decks Lava Dart is better most of the time.
Pillage and Molten Rain - Land destruction generally isn't worth it in this deck, especially with Life from the Loam running all about lately. The matchups for it just aren't there.


Black
Wretched Anurid - Did we forget about the original decent Watchwolf? The life loss sometimes matters, but not that often.
Dark Confidant - If he survives for even one turn, he's already better than most 2-drops. Anything more and he quickly becomes broken; I'm very surprised WOTC changed his cost to make him MORE splashable.
Vindicate - Who doesn't love this card?
Putrefy - compared to Vindicate, you have to choose whether you prefer the Instant speed or the ability to nail lands and enchantments. Personally I go for Putrefy first; combat tricks are relevant. Of course, there's no law against running both.

Not as good as you think:
Hypnotic Specter - Too slow against control/combo without acceleration. If you're running Chrome Moxen and/or BoPs/Elves, he can be very disruptive, but since the rest of the deck doesn't really need acceleration it would probably be detrimental.
Duress - A solid card, obviously, but discard doesn't really work too well in this deck. In addition to having to choose between discard or early drops, discard is useless once the deck hits topdeck mode. Trading 1-for-1 tends to benefit the control player in an aggro vs. control matchup; snagging a Counterspell isn't that amazing unless you can force through a game-winner, and discarding a Fact or Fiction won't be relevant until turn 5. Even then, without a lot of discard control can easily recover from the loss of a single card.
Cabal Therapy - It's a great card, but please stop running them in decks with 16 creatures. You'll want quite a few creatures so you can flashback without ruining your attacks. Also see the Duress explanation on why discard isn't that great in this deck.
Darkblast - Really, really annoying to BDW. Only moderately annoying to other aggro decks.


While we're on the subject of splashes, how 'bout them artifacts? Most significant is the debate over whether or not Isochron Scepter is playable. It provides great card advantage and a good lategame, but it's slow and fragile. It doesn't play along with Kataki, and it requires a large amount of deckspace to devote to instants. It gives you an edge in aggro matchups, but requires you to make some choices that are relatively subpar if you don't draw Scepter - no Firebolt or Char in the Red version; no Vindicate or Putrefy in the Black version.

In my opinion, Extended Zoo is not the place for good ol' Scepter.

Other than Scepter, there are options like Jitte, which is very strong but can sometimes waste mana if you equip to a creature that will be burned in response. Pithing Needle fits very comfortably in the sideboard, of course. Chrome Mox is another one to consider, but the threat density here is so low that it can be disasterous if it turns up in the wrong hand. Too risky.

GWB Pure Beatdown Zoo
Mana: 1 Swamp 2 Forest 2 Plains 2 Brushland 1 Flooded Strand 3 Overgrown Tomb 4 Temple Garden 4 Windswept Heath 4 BW Shockland Creatures: 3 Isamaru, Hound of Konda 4 Dark Confidant 4 Watchwolf 4 Silver Knight 4 Paladin en-Vec 4 Troll Ascetic 1 Mystic Enforcer	Spells: 3 Armadillo Cloak 3 Umezawa's Jitte 4 Putrefy 3 Vindicate	Sideboard: 4 Suppression Field 3 Ground Seal 3 Kataki, War's Wage 2 Pithing Needle 3 Choke

Most of the creatures in this deck take 2 burn spells to kill, 12 are immune to burn, and 8 are immune to almost all spot removal. From there, it's not hard to drop a Cloak or Jitte and smash face. As you can see, this particular deck doesn't have enough sideboard space to run cards for the mirror match (although it doesn‘t really need it). Withered Wretch also cannot find a spot here due to his fragility and color issues (plus Suppression Field in the side).

GWR Burn and Beatdown Zoo
Mana: 1 Forest 1 Plains 1 Overgrown Tomb 1 Mountain 4 Wooded Foothills 4 Temple Garden 4 Sacred Foundry 2 Barbarian Ring 4 Windswept Heath Creatures: 4 Goblin Legionnaire 4 Kird Ape 4 Watchwolf 3 Isamaru, Hound of Konda 4 Grim Lavamancer 3 Kataki, War's Wage	Spells: 4 Tribal Flames 4 Firebolt 4 Lightning Helix 4 Char	Sideboard: 3 Disenchant 3 Pyrostatic Pillar 3 Ground Seal 3 Mystic Enforcer 3 Pithing Needle

Pretty standard. It's basically BDW with bigger creatures and no Blood Moon or land destruction. Barbarian Rings are really important for offing Silver Knights.


Metagame

Sadly, it seems the metagame is basically Affinity < Aggro < Control = Affinity. We aggro players can still dream.

NO Stick - There's a reason the Japanese choose this deck; an early Scepter completely dominates aggro, and if you swarm, Wrath punishes you for it. NO Stick's main weakness is its sorcery-speed removal (play Scepter, Wrath, Angel), so if you can off Scepters/Angels when they hit play and keep forcing through threats you can pull out a win. Answers - Pithing Needle, Oxidize, Choke, Cabal Therapy

Psychatog - You have more big creatures than BDW, but that really only matters for Darkblast. You must finish them off ASAP, which is hard without a LOT of burn. Playing anything but all-out means you lose, and even going all-out you lose pretty often anyways. Answers: Cabal Therapy, Choke, fast 1-drops and burn.

Aggro Rock - Aggro Rock matches with Beatdown Zoo. Against other forms of Zoo, it comes down to the sideboard (Phantom Centaur is pain) and whether you can handle his Equipment. Sun Droplet and Troll Ascetic make the game long and difficult, but he also has 8 dead maindeck cards against you. Answers: Suppression Field, artifact destruction.

BDW - Your creatures are generally bigger, which should lead to an edge game 1. Blood Moon and Fledgling Dragon in the side is horrible for you, though. Answers: Silver Knight, Paladin en-Vec, Sphere of Law, Sword of Fire and Ice

Raffinity - I don‘t see how playing Raffinity can be fun at all with everybody playing a 2-mana auto-win in their sideboard. Answers: Kataki.

CAL - You will almost certainly lose game 1. If you don’t have multiple ways to stall CAL or kill Confinement, you will lose games 2 and 3 very quickly.
Answers: Ground Seal, Megrim, Suppression Field, Blood Moon, Pithing Needle, Withered Wretch, Morningtide, and Cranial Extraction.

Goblins - Blood Moon hurts. Answers: Silver Knight, Armadillo Cloak, Darkblast, and Engineered Plague.

UG Desire - this matchup is just hard with Moment‘s Peace constantly stalling. Answers: Meddling Mage, Pyrostatic Pillar, and Rule of Law.

Slide - You will get ruined game 1; recurring Hierarchs and Wraths are way too much for you to handle. Ground Seal, Morningtide, and Suppression Field are your only hope, but if you can’t overcome the Hierarchs and Wraths fast enough they’ll draw into an answer.


Zoo can only get stronger in the upcoming Ravnica sets. Watch out for the tri-guild color combinations come Guildpact (RWG and GWB)! I hope you enjoyed this primer, and be sure to give Zoo, both versions, a spin in your testing guantlet for Extended.


Heavy editing and banner by Goblinboy.